do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I need water and some morals
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
