I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
