you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This baby is an asshole
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
