Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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