Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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