How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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