i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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