New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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