Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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