erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
