This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
