On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
