Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i love accidental penises.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
