I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
