Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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