You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
