need another drink. this is the easiest way
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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