I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize