Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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