HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
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