Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
