? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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