Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
