I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Terrible idea I love it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
