Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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