nut hugger
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
