Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
