I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
