He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize