Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
