I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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