is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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