so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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