Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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