How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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