I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
