i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She bit a glass in half.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
