i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
