Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize