what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize