Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
