Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
