Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
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Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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