Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
