I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
