I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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