He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
