you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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