I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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