ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
