As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
