I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
