I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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