we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
