..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
