So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I didn't notice because vodka
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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