No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
