gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
