I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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