I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
