Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
