no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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