He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
